i am sorry

tah la knapa... arini rsa sayu sgt. sedih..rindu..menyesal..semua ada dalam hati ni. berkenaan tajuk kali ni..I AM SORRY.... yup. I am sorry yer. Actually kjadia tu jd cpt sgt. Hati tgh marah, otak tgh serabut. Haish la..Moral of that is...jgn la buat keputusan terburu2 time kita marah or sakit hati. Nnt mesti menyesal. Percayalah. Sy dh ada pengalaman dh sal hal ini.

Sy xdak niat nk unfriend ka apa ka dgn dia. Time tu sy tgh marah. Sakit hati. Sebab?? Sy buat andaian dakn kesimpulan cpt sgt. Kata2 dia malam tu mungkin mmng bukan utk sy. Tapi sy ni lah mungkin salah anggap. Terperasan plak tu. Kepada dia. Sy mntak maaf kalau dh tuduh bkn2 ckp bkn2. Sy selalu mcm ni kan?? Sy rsa dia dh ckup masak dh dgn perangai buruk sy ni.

Hurmm...Sy sayang dia. Sy unfren tu pon sbb sy ingt dia akn lbih tenang dan bhagia nnt tanpa sy. Sy xkan ganggu dia lgi, kacau dia lgi..Sy rsa dia mst suka..:) Sy ni kan pengacau terbesaq dlm hidup dia. Dia xpyah nk layan karenah sy lgi dh lpas ni...Sy hrap dia lbih bahagia skrg..

However.... You still in my heart. Biaq mcm ni sja kita. Sy simpan smua dlm hati. Sy mintak maaf...
Nk tulis lgi...tapi.....semakin tulis semakin sedih...

Actually....Sy rindu nk kacau dia. Nak gaduh dgn dia..Nak dngaq dia membebel dan marah....I am so lonely now....Nk tau dak dia senyum ka, dia marah ka, dia tengking ka, dia membebel ka tu smua jdi kenangan dr dia tuk sy. Sy sayang dia. 

Nnt la sy tulis lgi pasal dia...Sy nk trus dia ada d hati sy skrg dan selamanya..

*SHE IS MY DEAREST SISTER :)

Akak...ni lagu kesukaan meen yg akak pernah "bagi"

Dear My Dearest Sister

Kali ni mengupdate dgn 1001 perasaan sedih dan hiba. Hurmm... Dear You...My Dearest Sister Here I’m writing and express my feelings about You. I’m very dissapointed and tired of everything about You. Dear You... Why You totally change?? Seolah2 meen xknal siapa akak. Meen tau bkn dh lama meen kenal akak. Baru setaun lbih. Banyak lgi yg meen xtau pasal akak. Tapi.... Akak mmng dh berubah. Perubahan yg sgt amat ketara. Akak bukan akak yg dulu.

Dear You, why You do all this things to me?? Meen tau meen dh buat salah kat akak. Meen sakitkan hati akak. Dan meen rsa apa yg akak buat kat sy dh lbih apa yg meen buat kat akak. Sakitnya tu dh terlbih sgt ni. Dear You, kenapa akak dh berubah sgt2?? Can You answer this to me?? I need all the answer from You.

Dear You...kenapa akak memilih utk diam?? Akak tau dak cara yg awak buat ni sgt amat menyakitkan hati. Knapa akak xnk ckp dgn meem langsung?? Salahkah kalau akak ckp dgn meen?Meen xmntak apa2 lbih pon dr akak, cma tolonglah akak.. Jgn diam mcm ni...Sampai bila? Tuk selama-lamanya ka??

Dan apa yg mensentapkan hati ni adalah knapa kat org lain akak ok ja??Bleh ja ckp elok2. Knapa x meen? Akak benci meen ka? Tapi bila meen tnya aritu akak ckp x. So, yg mana btoi ni sebenaqnya?? Tolongla ckp yg mana btoi. Org ckp, berkatalah benar walaupon mungkin kalau itu akn menyaitkan seseorg drp berbohong utk menjaga hati seseorang.

Dear You.. My Dearest sister. Kan meen dh ckp aritu, meen xley nk tipu dri sendiri. Akak pon tau mcm mana perasaan meen. Akak pon da ckp yg akak pon xley nk tipu dri sndiri. Actually, what do You mean?? Apa yg btul dan apa yg salah??

Dear You. Did You know and believe that, You are my dearest sister. Kakak kesayangan meen smpai bila2? Xpercaya ka or xnk percaya?? Tolongla pham apa yg ada dlm hati meen ni. Meen xmintak lbih pon dr akak, cma jgn la diam smpai mcm ni. Because your silence hurt me a lot.

Tired of Everything

Napa tah...aku pon dok tertanya2.apa salah aku ni?? Smpai xnak ckp langsung. Bila dia ckp xdak maksud apa2 pon, mcm xley nk percaya ja. Jawapan dia tu subjektif sgt. Dia ni marah ka, suka ka,sedih ka bkn nk ckp..sgt amat misteri. So bila dia xnk ckp dgn aku tanpa sbb2 hati ni sgt amatlah xpercaya. Setiap yg berlaku mst ada sebab musababnya kan...

Haishh la hati ni pon satu hal.. Dh org tu dh xnk ckp dgn kamu, knapakah kamu dok peduli lgi hah?? Wahai hati bleh x kita hentikan smua ni segera?? Dh letih la mcm ni.Wahai hati..tolonglah stop smua bnda2 yg xsepatutnya ada lgi...Please...

Kdang2 kesibukan bleh membuatkan kamu melupakan seketika sgala perasaan tu. But since that feelings still in the heart, there always be there..xkira la mcm mana pon mst la teringt jgak. Hatiii owhh hatii.... knapa kamu ni hah??susah sgt nk benci or marah insan2 yg wat kamu sakit hati, sedih dan kecewa??

Dear heart,

Can you stop thinking of those unnecessary people around you..

I'm tired of waiting...

I'm tired of hurting...

Tired of loving..

Tired of caring..

Lets stop this things..Please....

WORK !!!

What?? Aku keja?? Btoi ka ni? Haha. Ya ni hakikanya la ni..Aku dh keja. Xpenah semur hdup aku keja..Ni la first time dlm hidup aku. Keja apa??Dirahsiakan..:D Tapi aku la ni wat keja akaun2 la..Kira2..Men dgn angka2. Mcm pelik ja dngaq kan..But…This is my life now.

Bayangkan amik diploma kat UiTM sepangjang lbih kurang 2 taun setengah tu, satu angka apa pun aku dh blajaq kecuali la tuk subjek ETR kn. Tapi kesimpulannya mmng dh xingt dh la nk kira2 ni kan.haha. Amik akaun pon time SPM. SPM  pon akaun dpt B+ ja..huhu..xterer mana pon sy ni..

But now ni la keja aku skrg. Nasib baik la abah ngan mama aku ada basic akaun ni. Bg aku abah mmg superb la bab2 akaun ni. Mama pon mmng pena keja kat pejabat akaun dlu. But now, mama dhberhenti..xlarat katanya. Tu la walaupon aku rsa susah sgt keja ni, Alhamdulillah abah ngan mama sntiasa membantu dan menyokong aku. :D

Smpai bla nk keja ni? Aku pon xtau. Mungkin xlama or mungkin smpai aku dh tua nnt.. Aku pon xtau. Tapi hati ekcik aku hrap aku dpt sambung degree. That is my wish, my hope. But, I still don’t know about that.

Enough for this time. See you next time “my blog”...

Counting The Day

nk tau dak. ckp sorang2 kan..ada ka sapa2 nk baca blog aku ni ha? xdak la apapun nk ckp masanya hmpir tiba dh ni. hati ini teramat lah nervous dan takutnya sbb result dh nk keluaq. Bkn result exam tapi result nk sambng degree. Hurm..layakkah aku ni nk amik degree?? xtau la kn. 30hb ni tau la keputusannya.

mengimbau balik kenangan2dulu.. aku sedaq xsemua kita nk kita akn dapat. Kalau xdapat tu mst ada hikmahnya. Cuma kita sbg manusia susah nk nmpak. Selalu menyalahkan takdir. Ni ckp ni kat diri sndiri jgak la. Allah dh letak smuanya yg terbaik tuk kita. Jadi, kalau xdpt tu ikhlaskan hati dan terus berdoa. Insyallah kita akn nmpak kemanisannya tu.

Bleh x aku nk kata yg aku xnk harap sgt. Aku takut kecewa. Memandangkan apa lecturer ckp, persaingan kali ni mmng sengit.Mana x nya mana dgn batch aku yg ramai lagi campuq batch part 6 lgi plus cawangan2 lain lgi...huhu..ramai kan??Mcm mana la hati ni xrisau.

Aku nk sgt sambung blajaq. Tapi dlm masa yg sama aku takut sgt. Hati owh hati tolonglah bertenang.Berserah smuanya kepada Allah dan teruskan berdoa..Insyallah...

Only YOU

You and You in My Heart (2012)

end of 2012.  A year which give a lot of meanings to me. Too many things happens. Whether a good or bad, all of that are very effect my life. start in the early year of 2012....The most memorable time that I could forget is during my birthday. Dedicated to Kak Zura, Kak Bella, Abg Pdot & Abg Anip.

-thank you for this-
   



It's hard for me to do this but finally. I can do this with you. I admit that it's not as easy as you think. For the last I really hope that I can spent my time with you and it is for the last time. It just one day, but it is one of the memorable day in 2012 for me. Thank you for this...You had fulfill my wish...

-thank you my dearest sister-

              
Someone who doesn't want to talk with me finally make me surprise. Someone had hold a special place in my heart. Someone that complete my life.Someone that is important to me. Yeahh she is my sister. Wonderful sister. One day, she had give me a chance to make everything clear. Finally, everything had better than before. But now nothing between us. However,everything is good..:D

- that is my sister-
(3 February)

abg muaz yg "skema"

    This is my brother at UiTM Kedah... Nothing much about him. But he is really a good brother for me. He always make me smile. He always be there for me. Just text and then he will call me back..haha..The sweetest time is when he spent his time for me to go for my research in Penang..
I love him and he will always be my "brother"... :)

All of them is a person that make my 2012 is a very amazing year...

In 2012, I also had finished my studies.

In 2012, my health is more better than before.

In 2012, I had really fall in love with someone. (cannot mention here :D)

In 2012, I have my own car.

In 2012, I had realize something.

In 2012, I am already 20 no more "teen"..

In 2012, I realize that UiTM Kedah is an amazing place.

In 2012, I really miss You.

In 2012, I realize that I really need You.

And many more. Tired of typing actually..

For those person I mention above... You will be always in my heart for more years and until the end of my life.

Thank you so much for everything