You and You in My Heart (2012)

end of 2012.  A year which give a lot of meanings to me. Too many things happens. Whether a good or bad, all of that are very effect my life. start in the early year of 2012....The most memorable time that I could forget is during my birthday. Dedicated to Kak Zura, Kak Bella, Abg Pdot & Abg Anip.

-thank you for this-
   



It's hard for me to do this but finally. I can do this with you. I admit that it's not as easy as you think. For the last I really hope that I can spent my time with you and it is for the last time. It just one day, but it is one of the memorable day in 2012 for me. Thank you for this...You had fulfill my wish...

-thank you my dearest sister-

              
Someone who doesn't want to talk with me finally make me surprise. Someone had hold a special place in my heart. Someone that complete my life.Someone that is important to me. Yeahh she is my sister. Wonderful sister. One day, she had give me a chance to make everything clear. Finally, everything had better than before. But now nothing between us. However,everything is good..:D

- that is my sister-
(3 February)

abg muaz yg "skema"

    This is my brother at UiTM Kedah... Nothing much about him. But he is really a good brother for me. He always make me smile. He always be there for me. Just text and then he will call me back..haha..The sweetest time is when he spent his time for me to go for my research in Penang..
I love him and he will always be my "brother"... :)

All of them is a person that make my 2012 is a very amazing year...

In 2012, I also had finished my studies.

In 2012, my health is more better than before.

In 2012, I had really fall in love with someone. (cannot mention here :D)

In 2012, I have my own car.

In 2012, I had realize something.

In 2012, I am already 20 no more "teen"..

In 2012, I realize that UiTM Kedah is an amazing place.

In 2012, I really miss You.

In 2012, I realize that I really need You.

And many more. Tired of typing actually..

For those person I mention above... You will be always in my heart for more years and until the end of my life.

Thank you so much for everything

only you

Can you listen to my words, don’t say anything yet

Actually I’m so insecure, without you how do I live each day?

I know you haven’t ended yet,

But don’t cry over the empty space that I left

My heart only has you, your heart only has me.

Similar sentiments, the proof of our love

The same sky, different place.

We’re separated for now

for this instant, something to never forget

Please remember

I will remember the love you gave me

No one can take over you

That only love, I will keep in the bottom of my heart

Making you wait so long, I’m sorry

In my life only you are most special

My heart only has you, your heart only has me.

Similar sentiments, the proof of our love

The same sky, different place.

We’re separated for now

for this instant, something to never forget

Please remember

Actually you understand right

Without you i can’t live, without me you can’t live

An almost torn heart, take a deep breath

Who said that hurt will slowly heal is empty words

I love you, I love you, I love you, even if you can’t hear

Sorry Sorry Sorry I have regrets

F.O.R.E.V.E.R I will hold your hand tight

Just like when we first met, we will be back together

Be my love, I need you.

To me there is only you, you know that right

the sharpness of cold wind, like it’s beating me to be by your side

The you that grasps my hand

The you that follows my steps

Until the day that we meet again, I won’t let go of your hand

My heart only has you, your heart only has me.

Similar sentiments, the proof of our love

The same sky, different place.

We’re separated for now

for this instant, something to never forget

Please remember

I'm Happy Now

nk update pasai dia lgi kali ni. sy sgt amatlah terharu semalam. xsangka dpt msej dr dia. xsangka pon dia nk balas. sy ada swuh dia bca apa yg sy tulis sal dia. dan mcm selalu, dia baca. hati sy lega sgt skrg. sbb dia dh tau apa perasaan sy yg sebenaqnya. sy dh jujur sejujurnya dgn dia semalam.

dia xakan ada pengganti. selamanya dia di hati sy. :). sy berjanji dgn diri sndiri dan dia, sy xakn ada sapa2 dh skrg dan selepas ini kerana dialah yg paling sy sayang. ckp sal apa yg dia msej sy semalam, dia ckp dia pon xley nk tipu perasaan dia sndri jgak. cuma, sy kurang pham, apa yg dia xley tipu tu??perasaan dia yg mcm mana agaknya. sy ni kalau ckp xstraight to the point, susah skit nk memahami.huhu...

dan apa yg paling penting adalah dia ckp. diam dia xbermakna dia bencikan sy dan xdak apa mksud pon sebenaqnya. yg tu yg sy tunggu2 sgt. dh byk kali dh sy soal mcm tu kt dia n finally semalam dia dh bgtau. hati ni teramat la lega. sy ingt dia dh bencikan sy dh..sedih kn kalau btoii..

psai dia xdak perasaan tu, hurmm smua manusia ada perasaan kn?apa yg sy ckp kt dia selama ni, yg dia xdak perasaan smua tu, mungkin smua dia wat ada sebab2nya. sy xsedaq. dan mungkin sy xtau. sy mntak maaf sbb ckp kat dia mcm tu.

perkara paling mengharukan or ayat yg mmbuat sy terharu dr dlu lgi smpai skrg adalah, "take a gud care of urself"...ye akak.. kalau akak swuh meen jga diri, akak pon kna jga dri baik2 jgak.cuma, ayat tu xlengkap sbnaqnya. sbb xdak ayat "akak syg meen"haha..over kn sy??bg betis nk paha. dia xsyg sy lgi,jd mana mungkin akn ada ayat mcm tu kn.

tpi, sy dan dia dh amik keputusan, biaqla kmi mcm ni sja. sbb xnak lukakan hati masing2. mungkin ini yg terbaik tuk kami berdua. insyallah..kita xtau apa akn jd yg ke depan. usaha dan berdoa tu yg terbaik.

enough for today...:D

THIS IS BELONG TO MY DEAREST SISTER 

pengakuan jujur

ok rajin plak nk update la ni kn. now, nk wat satu pengakuan bleh ka x?ni ditujukan tuk someone. tpi xrsa yg dia akn bca.kalau dlu bila sy sruh dia bca ja bru dia bca. kalau x, mknanya x la tu.xpala..yg pnting sy dh tulis kat sni.

sbnaqnya, sy xdak sapa2 pon. sy sja kata mcm tu aritu. konon-kononnya sy ley hdup tnpa dia. sy xperlukan dia lgi. hakikatnya, xbtoi pon smua bnda tu. but kalau skalipon sy perlukan dia, watpa kalau dia xperlukan sy lgi kn. biaqla mcm ni sja.

pendek ja kot nnt update len..bye2

yes this is for you

malas nk update sgt skrg...xtau la napa..xlarat sbnaqnya. tapi arini, terdetik hati nk update. sy nk update sal seseorg ni. dia penah tanya, bla la aku nk update blog sal dia? hurm..akhirnya kan..yes ni tuk dia. agaknya btoi la apa yg dikatakan org, waktu dekat dgn kita xnk hargai, bila dia dh pergi, baru la rsa rindu la, sedih la kalau dia xdak n mcm2 lgi la. yes ni la yg sy lalui skrg.

ckp sal dia ni, sy knai dgn dia pon,melalui seseorg yg sy sayang. kalau x melalui org yg sy syg tu, xkan la sy akn serapat mcm tu dgn dia.berbalik p tujuan asal td, dia ni istimewa bg sy. dia baik, caring, penyayang dll..huhu. waktu sy nk gembira dia dtg, waktu sy sedih pon dia snggup ada tuk sy bila2 msa sja. hnya text dia skali ja pon, dia mst akn reply balik. kdang2 sy rsa berslah plak. mcm wat dia ni tempat tuk su luah msalah sja.

sy mmng syg dia sbnaqnya. tapi waktu dia msih bersama sy, sy xtau nk hargai dia. sy dok sibuk2 tunjuk syg sy kat kawan yg perkenalkan dia kat sy tu. dia dengaq ja apa sy cter. ksian kat dia. dan truknya sy kan??skrg, dia dh xdak.dia dh pergi dr hdup sy. dia mungkin dh bnci sy.hurmm..kepada dia, sy nk mntak maaf sbb byk dh salah sy lakukan.

dan bodohnya sy jgak sbb terlalu sygkan kawan dia tu. syg org yg xsepatutnya. yg xtau nk menghargai perasaan org lngsung. kdang2 sy rsa dia ni xdak perasaan pon ada. kejam pon yer. tahla. cma sy pelik, mcm mana kononnya yg sayang giler dlu tu 100% hilang serta-merta. senang sungguh dia lupakan org. mungkin dia ingt dia perfect sgt kot. sy ja salah, dia smua btoi..

ckup la stakat ni..kepada dia yg sy rindui, sy sy tulis khas wat kali ni tuk dia, sy hrap stu ari nnt kta ley berjmpa. sy sayang dia. maafkan sy yer.. selamat malam..:D

nothing much to say

lamanya xupdate. ni smua sbb kesakitan yg sy alami baru2 ini. dh byk ubat yg dimakan, akhirnya alhamdulillah shat jgak..:) berckp mengenai skrg ini, sy hrap smuanya akn bertahan dan kekal utk selamanya. sy hrap sy kuat, tabah, dan hebat tuk hadapi smua ni.

utk smua yg awk dh bg, sy berterima kasih byk2. sy hargai itu smua. sy bahagia. walaupon hnya dgn kenangan2 yg awk dh bg, tu ckup tuk sy tersenyum. sy tau smpai sni shja smuanya. cuma, sy agak terkilan, sy xtau apa perasaan awk skrg ni, benci ka, lega ka, suka ka. knapala awk wat smpai mcm ni?? but its okay. sy redha ja skrg ni

ok la nothing much to say.. penat la plak rsanya..have a nice day :) 

YOU

today i want to share my favorite lyrics. for me, it is nice, good and i really enjoy it. This song titles is YOU.

you were there to light my day
you were there to guide me through
from my days down and on
i'll never stop thinking of you

how can i forget all that
when you're the one who make me smile
you'll always be a part of me
how i wish you were still mine

never will forget the day
how we've met and came this far
we all know we got this feeling
but somehow it has to end up here

i know it's me who said goodbye
and that's the hardest thing to do
cause you mean so much to me
and guide the truth from me to you

for all the things i've done and said
for all the hurt that i've caused you
i hope you will forgive me baby
cause that wasn't what i meant to do

THIS WILL BE MY FAVORITE SONG NOW AND FOREVER. ONLY YOU AND I KNOW ABOUT THIS SONG RIGHT? 

IT HAS ITS OWN VALUE. HEE...WHICH IS SENTIMENTAL VALUE (SOMEONE SAID)

Jodoh??

luahan hati kali ni, nk luahkan tentang sesuatu yg dikira sgt dan amat penting dlm hidup seseorg n of course termasuklah diri sendiri ini. sesungguhnya, dh tertulis jodoh kita sejak kita dilahirkan. insyallah. cuma, apa yg bermain di fikiran adalah, bukan senang nk cri lelaki yg sebetul2 lelaki sekarang ini. mungkin 1 dlm 1000 kot.

tuk diri sy yg biasa2 ini, tiada la mengharapkan yg sempurna. mana ada manusia yg sempurna kan? tapi, cukupla sekadar lelaki yg bertanggungjawab, setia, jujur kuat pegangan agama supaya dapat membimbing sy  yg serba kekurangan ini dan yg paling penting ley terima abah n mama sy mcm ibu bapanya sendiri. dngaq mcm susah kan?ada lg ka lelaki yg mcm ni??

hurm..sndiri tanya, sndiri la jawab. apa yg mamam pesan, dr dulu lagi, kalau nk jodoh yg baik.bacalah Ya Latif sebanyk yg mungkin terutama slpas maghrib.Insyallah. Tapi, perjalanan masih jauh kan. diploma pon baru hbis. Mungkin belum waktunya lagi kot. Insyallah waktu degree nnt ka. Waktu dh keja ka..Who knows kan?? Allah Maha Mengetahui. Insyallah. Bila dh smpai masa, ada la tu.

ramai dh kawan2 lelaki yg sy ada, tapi setakat la ni, xdak satu pon la lgi yg btoi2 berkenan di hati. Setakat syok2 mcm tu ada la, cma dlm diam ja la. Nk bukak mulut??Owh tidakkkkk.......:) Dan sy pernah berkapel. Cuma, tu bukan cinta sejati sy rsanya. Cinta monyet kot. Dia dtg dan pergi, tanpa meninggalkan apa2 kesan di hati. 

xdak apa lgi rsanya nk luah kat sni. cukup setakat ini. mohon terus dan terus berdoa, moga mendapat jodoh yg terbaik kelak dan utk selamanya. Insyallah :D

sayang yg sebenar

khidupan di rumah membuatkan sy bertambah membesaq!! hurm apa ley wat mkn n tdoq so padan la.skrg,nk ckp, satu perkara yg harus sy akui. xsangka. walaupon pernah xberhubung dgn dia ada la beberapa tahun, sbb sayang yg masih ada, kami ley berba

so, xkisah la dlm percintaan ka n apapun hubungan kasih-sayang tu penting. kalau kita btoi2 jujur sayangkan seseorg, pergi la mana sekali pon, wat la apapun, kita akn tetap sayangkan dia..but...sekiranya sayang kita tu suam-suam kuku ja, salah org tu skit pon smpai mati kita ley ingt.

this happen to me. now i realize that.sapa yg akn jadi kakak kesayanan sy. walau apapun keadaan dia ley trima sy. dlu smpai skrg. Ya Allah, kekalkan hubungan kami ini smpai akhir hayat. sesungguhnya sy amat menyayangi kakak sy ini. walaupon hakikatnya dia hanya kakak angkat sy.

enough for this time. pray for the best for me and her, my sister.

done

done...finally..akhirnya..apa g tah ayat yg sesuai. ckup kot.tahu x betapa bodohnya sy setelah sekian lamanya, baru tersedaq. terbangun dr mimpi yg panjang...heyyyy org dh xsayang kat kau la!! sedaq la.. bkn setakat tu org tu dh meluat kat kau!!!tolongla sedaq.

what if someone said like that to you?? what do you feel?happy, sad, excited?? of course i'm sad. how can i be too stupid??oh no..xpa2 skrg sy dh pon sedaqla. apapun tq kepada org yg dh sedaqkan sy tu. kononnya kawan baik la sgt. kawan tikam belakan kot adala..

dh la..malas la nk ckp lgi bye2 '(

DUGAAN SEMESTER AKHIR

Alhamdulillah, d selesai 2 paper tuk sem ini. Komen tuk setiap paper, is no comment.haha. xpa kan..xtau nk kata , hanya mengharap yg terbaik.tu ja. entry kali ni bertajuk dugaan semester akhir. Dugaan yg dimaksudkan adalah xtau mcm mana ley bengkak kaki. kata2 doktor trkena gigitan oleh binatang. tpi smpai arini xtau bibatang apakah itu.redha ja la

rsanya ni frst time kna. kaki bengkak boom xyah ckpla mcm mana. dok plak Murni tinggat 4 kan, ini menyebabkan kesukaran utk berjalan. setelah tiada apa2 kesan walaupon dh mendapatkan rawatan di UK, ptg itu ada kawan kesayangan sy membantu..tq tu milia nordin n amin ahmad coz baik hati tuk membawa sy ke klinik. xnk pegi sbnaqnya, tapi diorang memaksa2 sy kononnya tuk kebaikan yala esk pth tu ada paper.

so, setelah mendpaatkan rawatan, alhamdulillah semakin ok kaki ni.setelah menerima suntikan mungkin segala bisa tlah berjaya dikeluarkan. Alhamdulillah, n tq milia nordin n amin ahmad for the chocken chop. haha sakit2 pon ley g p mkn chicken chop n singgah TESCO..hihi

no more idea for this entry. bye

FINAL

esok dh nk masuk bulan oktober. cepatnya masa berlalu meninggalkan kita. esok jgak segala2nya bermula.

my first paper which is ETR. xpernah ada perasaan mcm ni. cuak tahap dewa dh ni. byk chapter kna cover dan apa yg mcm menyusahkan ialah, this is all about business. not in my field.

hati ni hanya ALLAH ja yg tau. since this is my last semester, i really2 hope that i can performance and get the better result compared to the last semester. lpas ETR, paper reference, then my favorite subject which is archive, then is management and lastly is cataloging which i think is my killer subject. nmpak sgt xlayak sambung library science.

dh kot nk smbung study. i pray and really hope that everything will be fine. :D

FOR YOU

for my dearest sister, this is my way to express or show my feelings towards YOU...

1.please smile and smile as you can :)

2. i want YOU to be happy every time because YOU have a beautiful smile :D

3. keep smiling even when you have a problem..i want you to know that your happiness is important to me

4. please take care of yourself wherever and whenever you are 

5. as you know you are my dearest sister,so i do love you so much from 2 July 2011 until forever...

6. i will sent you for the second time..your favorite cake on your birthday. i promise that 

akak, last nk ckp, maaf lau smua ni xseberapa. tapi percayalah meen adik yang baik dan meen ni sayanggg kakak dia sgt2...dan kakak meen tu tentulah akak...

im so sorry if u dont like it..

tq for being my sister and it is already one year right.. and until now u still be my dearest sister.:D

For My Beloved Sister

rsnya dh lma blog ni xdiconteng. ini smua gara2 kemalasan dan kesibukkan yg sgt tidak dpt dielakkan. arini dgn rasminya, tiada lgi assignment yg erlu disiapkan.alhamdulillah smua dh settle.just waiting fir this coming tuesday for VIVA.. harap sgt smua berjalan lancar hendaknya..Ameen..

kali ni nk update sal someone ni. someone that hold a very2 special place in my heart. my everything, my life my dearest sister. she is siti maisara bt mohd jafre.from the deep of my heart, i really2 miss her. now she has a new life at Puncak.with her new environment.new sister..maybe kot..i dont have any reason to disturb her life anymore, she not love me anymore. she is really happy now.

akak, i will be happy if you are happy too. because i love u my dearest sister. forever till the end only you is my sister..

enough here. just one thing that i really2 want u to know. YOU are my everything, YOU are my dearest sister. <3 nbsp="nbsp">

no title

ni nk ckp sal sorang kawan ni. ingt ley caya kat dia. kononnya katanya "It won't happen again" p la..tipu ja bleh ang tu kan.sabaq ja la. nama ja kawan.tpi hampeh. waktu susah nk mntak tolong pndai la cri aku. tula kawan aku sorang ni. layakkah panggil kawan ek?

dh dia tau aku xsuka bndat u dok terhegeh2 wat apa lgi kn? xpala mlas la apapun xksah asal ang bhagia

Suka kot..hihi

Kekeliruan melanda diri ini. Dia baik, dia tu pon baik. Mcm mana ni. Sy rsa dh suka kat kedua2 mereka la tapi mana bleh kan? Kita kna setia pada yg satu. Btw td kat Dewan Perdan, sy agak terkesima la bila dia panggil nama sy.huhu..Bila dia panggil tu kn, jantung ni mcm berdebar2 sja. Rasa nk senyum smpai telinga. Apakah itu ek?

Sebenaqnya, sy malas nk piq sal smua ni. Tapi dh xsengaja terpkiq kan.huhu so sabaq ja la. Yang sorang ni pandai berkata2. Wah mklumla contoh pelajar kan..huhu. Yang sorang ni plak, nmpak pendiam, hakikatnya bla knai btoi2 owhhh tidakkkk..haha

Enough for today. Bye2. Have a nice day..:D

terkejut sgt

Semalam balik ja kelass pertama sekali mestilahmenunaikan  apa yg wajib dulu. Then, rutin yg biasa dibuat, adalah bukak facebook.  Bukak ja fb tu agak terkejut la jgak check inbox ada satu mesej dr someone. Bukan xpernah dpt msej dr dia, Cuma isi kandungan msej dia tu ja yg  membuatkan hati ni terkejut.

Isi kandungan msej tu, sangat menyentapkan hati yang lemah ni. Jujur la ckp, sy amat terasa dgn kata2 dia. Kadang2 rasa xpercaya pon ada bla pkiq balik btoi ka dia yg antaq ni. Berpijak di bumi yg nyata, jgn bermimpi, itulah hakikatnya. Berat tuk terima, hati ni gagah tuk redha ja dgn apa yg jadi ni. Perkenalan dgn dia lbih kurang setahun yg lalu, terjadi secara kebetulan.

Kalau la dia bca apa yg sy tulis ni, sy nk gtau dia. Sebenaqnya sy masih xpham apa salah sy tu smpai dia ley wat mcm ni kat sy. Katanya, sy ni xpernah berubah. Tapi sy btoi2 sy nk tau apa yg xberubah tu?? Dan sy rsa mmng kita dh xdak apa2 hubungan pon sejak kejadian aritu. Dia sndiri dh remove sy dr friend, dia dh mmng btoi2 marah. So, ok la. Sy terima ja apa yg dia buat, sbb msa tu mmng salah sy. Tap ink dia tau jgak kesalahan yg sy buat tu terpaksa. Dia sendiri pon tau yg sy lbih menyayangi sesorg yg juga merupakan kawan dia jgak. Dia sendiri pon tau btapa pentingnya org itu dlm hidup sy. So xpala, lau dia nk marah pon even benci pon xpa. Sebab tu mmng salah sy. I admit it.

Tgk2 xtau la apa sbbnya, tiba2 dia add balik sy kat fb xka pelik kan? Mungkin dia bkn pendendam kot. Xtau la kan. Tpi seingat sy la sy msih xnyanyok, dia xpernah declare apapun yg dia nk jadi kakak sy, bgutulah jgak sy. Sy just baik2 dgn dia and anggap mcm senior ja. Sebab hati sy ni pon bkn senang nk lupa kan?Dan kalau lah dia ad abaca ni semua sy nk tegaskan sekali lagi. Saya sangat sayangkan kawan dia tu lbih dr sy sayangkan dia. Mungkin, sy sayangkan dia pon sbb dia baik sgt. Tu ja.

Sy percayakan dia. Sangat percaya. Kalau x xkan la smpai ley bg account fb dgn twitter kat dia tuk dia pinjam kan??? Sy pon xtau napa and apa lagi yg perlu sy buat tuk sy ni nmpak baik di mata dia. Memang sy ni jahat, mcm budak2, teruk, xpernah pkiq perasaan org. Semua tu sy.

So, Ok then, sy pon dh penat sal smua ni. Byk g bnda n perkara sy nk pkiq. And now once again, You remove me right? Ok I’m sure that after this xkisah la sy atau dia pon, sy akn pastikan sy xakn jadi friend dia or follower ka kat fb or twitter. Now, yes, I really2 tired. Tired of all this things.

Sbb dia sndiri ckp, tolong pergi dr hidup dia. Jgn pernah dtg lagi. Anggap mcm kita xpernah kenal. And yes!!! Sy akan ingt semua bnda ni smpai bla2.

Last from me, I just only have one and she is my only one. My Dearest Sister. My everything. My family. And I just care and give my love for her only, Walaupon, dia xsayang sy pon dh, hati dan sayang sy ni dh mmng ada kat dia smpai sy mati. Sy dh anggap kakak kesayangan sy ni mcm sebahagian dr hidup sy. Dan dia akn jadi kakak sy smpai bla2.

CHOICES

There are differences between Library Science, RECORDS, Systems and Resource Centre. Oppsss why RECORDS are in capital letter? Owh this is because among all of them, I will more interested in RECORDS. I don’t know why. But it is the truth. It is not because RECORDS is more easily than others but from Semester 2, when I taking RECORDS subject, I had fall in love with it.

From all of that, I just want to tell and discuss about my degree. Insyallah... I don’t know which degree is much better. But now, in my mind it just only RECORDS. Library science, I think it is not suitable for me. I can’t explain it. But I know who am I. Also for systems..Owh I really can’t believe it if I can further my study in Systems. Impossible.

Actually, I just can only pray for the best. The most important thing is complete and finishes my final semester with a good result. It is most important thing before I further my study.

Ok then, enough for this. I just can pray and do my best to make it become reality. Ameen

~CHOICES~

YOU

This is my final decision. I hope it will longer and forever. I had enough for this entire thing. Don’t make our life complicated. Maybe, this is the faith. What I must do is “Redha”.  I think I had tried my best to make it clear. I had done many things to make it become reality. I can’t force my feelings. Maybe the feeling is for the past. Now my love and my care just for one person. Yes, it’s YOU !!!

I know, you don’t have the same feeling towards me. But my love and my care is without any condition. YOU know how much YOU really mean to me?? Maybe this is 100 times I repeat it. Unfortunately, YOU still not realize. But, it’s okay. I will still make YOU as my “DEAREST ONES”.

Only one thing that is really important to me which is to see your smile. I want YOU to be happy always. Your happiness is an important thing in my life. So, YOU have to smile and happy always. Maybe I’m not the reasons for your smile, but I hope YOU will have someone that can make YOU smile..:)

NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE... YOU STILL BE MY DEAREST